Engagement
damn ff crashed.
I was about to write a very sad romantic love story. ~correct the adjectives as u wish~
For the first time I saw her, I just wanted to ignore her.
Her beauty never appealed to me.
But within those few days of training we had together, it made me feel something for her.
I was attracted by her down to earth attitude, straight on your face talk and blah blah.
She believed in simple living, yet it was so rich and energetic.
Being with her one can never be sad. Her company was pleasing and ….
I am loosing words to describe all those feelings.
But there were her friends, with whom I could never gel this easily.
Normally I take some time to get close and start enjoying moments with
a friend, to which I did an exception for her.
Why some people are this easy to get along with, why is their company
so infectious like a disease. Why is it so difficult to even think
about living without them?
I was in doubt if I was in love. People have proposed me before, but I
was never sure when I should propose. This could have been easily
the first time for me, if I did it then.
Let it be the talk about the Sutta song or about buying a particular
mobile phone, all trivial things we discussed used to seem very special
then reflecting the very impressive attitude of her towards life and
everything/everyone around her.
The problem was with the friend circle we were in, I never could easily
gel with them and always felt being outcast. We got lesser personal
time now.
One day she moved to a DC closer to her home town, for which she made
even me pray for and I prayed for that though I din’t want to. A
half-hearted err… three quarter-hearted prayer. The last quarter
wanted her to stay with me forever.
By now two of friends were close to me and knew about my love for her, but I made them promise not to tell this to her.
On one hand I wanted to marry her, on the other hand I had this usual bachelor life syndrome. Scared of commitment!!!
I was not ready to get married that soon. I just got a job then. There
were dreams more important to fulfill than this romantic one. Slowly
all this confusing feelings made me avoid her.
Sometimes I couldn’t stop myself and had some chat with her with each
word of her engraved in my heart. ~~hopelessly romantic!!~~
I really laugh at myself for the way I was those days.
Time is the greatest medicine they say and I experienced this medicine working really well. Life moved on..
But the sky fell apart for me today. She invited me to her engagement.
I am laughing at myself for so stupid feelings I had back then. I am
also smiling at all those wonderful moments we had together. But that
one quarter heart is crying. Just the tears don’t come out of my eyes,
for I fear of the world that will laugh at me…. for what made a man
cry.
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